The grill sizzled behind me and I turned away from the spectacular view to poke the hot dogs around with my tongs. I tended to lunch for a few minutes, taking swigs from my bottle of beer as I glanced back towards the lake every now and then. Daniel was standing on the shore, wearing a pair of overly-large trunks and with a towel around his shoulders. Carter was on the dock, in a scandalous bikini. Thankfully, she had the decency to wrap a scarf around her waist so I wouldn't be tempted to think she was so near-naked. Fraiser and Teal'c were the only ones in the water, playfully splashing their land-lubber teammates.
I lifted one of the beef patties from the grill, tilting my head to examine it before I let loose a whistle. "Lunch is served!" I called. "Come'n get it."
Fraiser and Teal'c got out of the water, Carter handing the doctor a towel and laughing at the poor, shuddering woman. Teal'c was wearing a pair of cut-off shorts, his swimsuit of choice, and I noticed Sam and Janet both steal a few looks in his direction as he toweled off. Hell, I'm straight and I looked a couple of times. Daniel reached the deck first, almost completely bone-dry, slipping his glasses back on as he examined his choices. "Burger or dog?" I asked.
"Burger. Any of them well-done?"
I glared at him. "Would you ask Leonardo DaVinci to fingerpaint? No, I did not char any of the burgers. The best you're gonna get is medium-well."
"I'll take it," he said, taking the offered bun and burger. Fraiser and Carter both took burgers, while Teal'c and I were the sole dog-lovers in the group. I popped a top on my third beer and distributed drinks to the rest of the party (Daniel, Teal'c and Carter were also beers, while Fraiser preferred diet soda). I took a seat on the deck railing, propping my leg up on the edge of the grill as I distributed the relish and mustard on my dog.
The weekend getaway had been my idea; a little retreat to the cabin that had always helped me get my head on straight. Unfortunately, all my requests to get someone - anyone - from the base to join me had almost always fallen on deaf ears. Teal'c had been roped in once, and only once, and had managed to sneak in a cell phone. That battery is probably still laying around out here somewhere, buried in the weeds...
This year, I decided to save everyone the trouble and just invite the group. The idea of a two-day getaway at a lakeside cabin was apparently easier to take than two days sitting on the dock staring at a fishing pole we all knew would never jerk. Fraiser had been invited by Carter; she had apparently been frightened at the idea of two days alone with three men. 'The more the merrier,' I had told her.
Of course, sitting on the dock, watching the Doc in her little bikini trying to get all the lake water out of her hair, I was having second thoughts. Who knew she had that hidden under those lab coats and crisp Air Force blouses? Carter, on the other hand... those legs. I could've gone the rest of my life without seeing those legs. Lord in heaven. I realized I was simply holding my hot dog in one hand and a bottle in the other, gawking openly at the only women at this little shindig. So I took a swig of beer and managed to down half the hot dog in one bite. I turned my gaze towards the lake and chewed for a bit. It was less risky than staring, I'll tell you that much.
---
By eight that night, I was pretty much wiped out. My day had started at four in the morning, due to Carter and Fraiser flying in on the red-eye and my idiotic promise to pick them up at the airport. So, as the others gathered around the table to pick apart a puzzle (Daniel's idea), I bid the rest of the group good night and told them to try to keep it down for Papa. Earlier, we had taken care of who would get which rooms - Teal'c took the floor in the living, due to the fact he only needed to kel'no'reem, Daniel took the couch and Carter and Fraiser were given the guest room.
"There's only one bed," I had warned them earlier in the day. "But it's king-sized. Pretty spacious. So..."
"No problem, Sir," Carter said, placing a piece of forest in the appropriate spot. "We'll manage."
I nodded, waving good-night. "All righty. See you kids in the morning." They waved to me, distracted by their puzzle, and I slipped down the hall to get a little rest.
---
A little past midnight, I woke with the same urge most men over forty wake with during the night. I groaned as I flung my legs over the side of the mattress, leaning forward and trying to wake up enough to make it to the bathroom. In the back of my mind, I realized there were five other people in the house and I prayed none of them were currently in the facilities. With a run of my hand over my hair, I stood and lurched towards the bedroom door like a zombie in one of those 'living dead' movies.
In the living room, a lamp was still lit. I craned my neck and saw Teal'c in the armchair, his back to me, as he hunched over the puzzle. Daniel was apparently asleep and I thought I had heard the ladies retire not long after I did. The bathroom was blessedly empty. I did what I needed to do, tugged my sweatpants back into place, and stumbled back towards my bed. The cabin was almost eerily silent as I slid back under the blankets and I paused, trying to hear evidence that I wasn't alone...
There was the soft footfalls of Teal'c as he moved from one end of the coffee table to the other, angling himself to place a piece of the puzzle.
There was the 'sskkitch' of the sofa as it moved with Daniel's nocturnal tossing. And, on the other side of the wall that I shared with the guest room, I heard the mattress squeak slightly as one of the women shifted under the blankets. Most likely Fraiser; from overnight off-world missions I knew Carter was a pretty still sleeper. She would lay on top of a sleeping bag and, two hours later, wake in the exact same position. I sighed and laid down, pulling my blankets up and closed my eyes.
The mattress in the other room squeaked again, this time more pronounced. I opened one eye. Fraiser was a real tosser...
"Janet."
Both eyes opened. For a second, I'd almost thought the voice had come from my own room. I raised my head from the pillow, turning to look at the wall in confusion. Were the walls that thin? When was the last time I'd shared the cabin with anyone? There was a giggle and then the bed groaned. "Shh. Stop it," Carter said, her voice low.
"We've been good for a whole two hours..."
"What do you want, a medal?" Was she laughing?
"You know what I want, blondie."
I sat bolt upright in bed, eyes wide, sleep a long-forgotten rumor. There was no way I had heard what I thought I had just heard. I turned on the mattress, staring at the walls, thinking back to elementary school when kids had asked what superpower I wanted if I could only have one. I immediately took back "flying" and demanded X-Ray vision. What was going on in that other room? It was just a few feet away, surely I could find out easily enough. I swallowed, willing myself to lay back down as the sounds continued.
Teal'c moved something in the kitchen, probably getting another mug of coffee (he was addicted to the stuff).
The bathroom door clunked; Daniel, on his most-likely only trip of the night. Lucky bastard.
And the sounds in the room behind me. The sounds that couldn't possibly mean what I thought they meant but couldn't mean anything else. Was that a moan? Was Carter making Fraiser moan? Or was it... no, that was Sam... that was Carter's voice. I was sure of it.
The question of what to do came up a few times in my mind during the next few seconds. Daniel flushed the toilet and the sounds behind my head stilled for a few seconds. As his footsteps sounded down the hall and away from the guest room, the squeaking and shifting and giggling and moaning continued. I licked my lips and pondered. Don't ask, don't tell was all well and good on paper. But in practice, especially in this kind of practice...
I'd like to say I went back to sleep and ignored the sounds I was being bombarded with. I'd like to lie and say that I was a gentleman and the rest of the weekend went off without a hitch.
I tugged at the string on my sweatpants, glancing at my bedroom door - open a crack - as I lowered the waistband. As the sounds behind me grew, I closed my eyes and ran my fingertips down the seam of my boxer briefs. I exhaled a long and shaky breath. 'It's gonna be a long night,' I told myself as I pushed my underwear down and began to stroke myself to the pictures Carter and Fraiser were painting in my mind...
---
I went out onto the deck early the next morning, joined by Teal'c and Daniel. The coffee was strong, as it always was when Teal'c made it, and Daniel grimaced through every sip. Finally, Carter slipped from the cabin with a weary smile. "Any of that left for me?" she asked, indicating our mugs.
I nodded towards the kitchen. "Plenty for everyone. Doc gonna join us?"
"Sleeping in," Sam said over her shoulder, pouring a mug and testing the temperature with a sip. She carried the mug back out to the deck and leaned against the wall of the cabin, scratching the back of her neck with one hand. "She couldn't get to sleep last night."
Was that a smirk? Damn mug getting in the way...
Daniel interrupted any further questioning by nodding towards the woods. "Teal'c and I were talking about taking a little nature walk... kind of see what we can see. The forest doesn't have... well, bears or anything, does it?"
I smirked. "No, Daniel, there are no lions, tigers or bears in these woods. Just follow the stream, mostly. Don't wander too deep into the trees, don't get yourself lost. I don't want to have to come find your sorry ass."
"Will do," Daniel said. "We'll head out after breakfast. Sam, wanna come with?" The Major shrugged and said, "Sure. I just need to get my hiking boots, some bug spray... Colonel, will you be joining us?"
"Nah. Someone has to be here when the Doc wakes up or else she'll think we ran off without her." I finished off my mug and grinned. "You three have a good time wandering the woods." At the door, I paused and turned to add, "Oh, and don't worry about wolves. We haven't had any wolf-related deaths up here in at least two weeks... maybe three..." I winked at them and headed in for a refill of coffee.
As I was pouring the mug, Carter went back into the bedroom and returned with a down vest and her hiking boots. She sat on the couch, lacing them up and looking over the puzzle she'd left the night before. "Looks like Teal'c and Daniel were busy after the rest of us went to bed."
"I think it was mostly Teal'c," I told her. "Saw 'im working on it during a bathroom trip." I took a sip of coffee and glanced at her. "Had a helluva time getting back to sleep." "Oh?" she said, picking up a piece and testing it in the upper right section of the puzzle. Totally innocent. I sighed and said, "You better hurry... I think Danny and Teal'c are ready to leave without ya."
Carter abandoned the puzzle and waved over her shoulder. "See you in a couple hours, Sir."
"Arrividerci, Carter," I said, sipping my coffee. I watched as they headed for the woods, wondering if I should say anything else to Carter or Fraiser about what I had heard. After all... "Don't Tell" was a big part of don't ask, don't tell. A whole fifty percent of it, as a matter of fact.
As the trio of explorers disappeared into the woods, Fraiser exited the back of the cabin. She was rubbing her eyes, blinking through the door at the woods. "Where're they headed?" she asked.
"Couple hours of hiking. Want me to catch up with 'em, tell 'em to wait a minute?" "Nah," she waved me off and headed for the coffee machine. She was wearing faded blue jeans that looked a little too big for her, cinched with a belt that I wasn't sure was hers. The flannel shirt draped over her was definitely not hers; it was mine. She poured a mug, taking a deep drink before turning to face me. "Ooh, Fraiser women were not meant to live in the woods."
I smirked. "For the record, I think you look fine for someone who didn't get much sleep last night."
Her eyes widened over the rim of her cup, watching me for signs that I knew. She parted her lips to say something, but I saved her. "Yeah, Carter told me you had a hard time falling asleep."
"Right," she nodded. "Sam." She took another sip and pushed herself away from the counter. "Looks like someone went to work on the puzzle last night."
I don't know why I said it. I was in the clear with both of them, all I had to do was forget what I'd heard, forget what I knew and move on. But that would've been the smart thing to do. The easy thing to do. So, instead, I looked at Janet Fraiser's mussed hair, took in the sight of her in my flannel shirt and said the most idiotic thing I've ever managed to say.
"I heard you and Carter foolin' around last night."
Janet spun around, her face pale.
---
Carter, Daniel and Teal'c returned three hours after they'd left. Daniel was completely drenched and his glasses were broken. Teal'c was wet from the stomach down. Carter was picking dried leaves from her hair, muttering about "never again." Daniel disappeared into the bathroom and, a few second later, I heard the shower start. Teal'c remained on the deck, staring out at the lake as he apparently waited his turn for the shower.
Janet and I were sitting on opposite sides of the couch, careful not to look at each other and not to look at Sam. Finally, when Sam noticed we hadn't said anything since their return, she looked up and said, "You guys won't believe what happened out there." She exhaled and shook her head. "We were walking along the bank of the river and Daniel sees this--" She paused and looked between us. "Guys?" She snapped her fingers in the air and whistled. "Colonel? Janet?"
"Sam," Janet said softly, turning to face her lover. "He knows."
Sam's smile faded and she looked at me.
"And there's something else."
"Something else?" Sam said, her voice hoarse.
That's when Janet started to cry.