A Christmas Gift
Docwho2100
FANDOM: Birds of Prey TV
PAIRING: Barbara/Helena
RATING: PG
DISCLAIMER: Birds of Prey and all its characters still belong to DC Comics and Warner Brothers.
ARCHIVING: DocWho2100's Page @ http://mywebpages.comcast.net/jstratton1/.
E-MAIL: docwho2000@hotmail.com.
"It's snowing."
Silence.
Shivering, Barbara wheeled out a little more although she hovered fairly close to the doorway to the balcony.
"If it keeps up, it'll be almost as bad as the time Mr. Freeze let go his revenge against Gotham." She rubbed her shoulders some at the memory.
She randomly thought about the difference each snowflake carried as she waited for some indication from the shadows.
She'd not expected Helena tonight actually. She knew a number of offices had decided to hold their Christmas Eve party at the Dark Horse and that Helena was well into her second shift. The brunette had pretty much agreed she'd be dead and would just crash at her apartment later in the night when she finished.
Dinah had been forcibly made to take up Gabby's offer of spending the holiday with the teen's family at some mountain winter wonderland place. Barbara knew the vacation would be good for the blonde.
Life had attempted to settle down for the three of them, but too many close calls in too short a succession had taken their toll.
A familiar thump a short while ago had drawn the redhead to the balcony. A balcony that held nothing but shadows, a strengthening wind and the first indications of the coming blizzard.
Barbara held out her hand watching a few errant flakes whisper onto her hand, disappearing before she could really feel them.
"You know, the way this is coming down, I have a feeling people will be snowed in where ever they end up tonight." Still no reply of any sort came.
"No one should be trapped somewhere where they don't want to be." She swallowed then as her eyes swept the shadows.
Finding nothing there, even as she swore she could feel someone, she sighed and began to turn back to the tower. Then, what she had hoped to hear came, a scrape. Just as she had given in to the idea her mind was playing a very bad prank, a sound so silent it almost did not reach her ears.
She half turned, her wheels picking up some of the thin film of snow collecting. "I know it's been hard for you to be here lately. You don't have to say anything, I...I can tell."
She looked down at her lap not sure where the words were coming from. But she so desperately wanted to keep the woman there. She continued to let her words trip out, hoping her companion would stay.
She'd made sure everyone was somewhere else for the holiday and yet, she wished it had not been so easy to clear the tower.
"I watch your eyes." She whispered. She knew the words would be heard. The snow seemed to have silenced everything save for a slight wind. She couldn't even make out breathing or other sounds she often heard when she knew Helena was lurking.
She worked her hands in her lap needing the focus. For some reason the combination of the weather, the odd silence and the holiday timing all worked to embolden the computer genius. The odd thought of a church confessional flitted through her mind and she chuckled.
"Sorry, the laugh was, well, not at you but because of you. You make me laugh so much. And...and you make me..." She couldn't say the word cry. She couldn't quite give voice to her pain. She hadn't quite reached the heady rush needed to go into full confessional mode.
"I just want you to know, you are always welcome here."
No, that wasn't right. Come on Barbara, don't lie to her. Lie to yourself, but not her...
"You, you're welcome here because I, I like having you around. I.. I ne..." She stopped and looked up again. She wanted to say it. Ever since that night, when so much had been lost.
She'd faced some very dark nights after that.
Dark nights that had spiraled far into places she'd not let herself look. That had released certain memories. Glances, stolen touches, smells, sounds...information that had made her appreciate what Gibson's ability must be like. Only hers were focused on one subject, Helena.
The redhead had come out of those nights shaken and changed. Changed because she knew somewhere along those long dark nights her love had changed.
Morphed into something very different.
Something she had buried and denied.
Something that had begun to consume her these past nights. Moving from her hidden psyche to her dreams to her waking moments to...to now.
"This is silly." She said after a long minute, a minute during which her ears and heart yearned for a response. A minute during which nothing came but the wailing whisper of the increasing snowstorm.
She turned then ready to go back to her usual haunt and security behind her monitors and walls. Ready to chalk this up to her own dark ID playing with her; giving her a bit of hope when it had been so long since she'd dared to care.
Continue
Barbara froze in the doorway, "Helena?" Her shoulders tensed, but nothing further came. Her lips puckering in frustration, her soul ready to put these foolish whims to bed; it had been nothing but the play of the storm through the building.
Please
She turned to face the snowy shadows, her cheeks feeling the increased wind and winter precipitation. She wheeled forward, still unable to make out a solid form and yet...
Blinking as the flakes collected on her lashes and hair, she nodded. Far be it for her to leave her deluded mind's request unfulfilled. She'd finish the game her tortured soul had started. What better way to spend the lonely holiday.
"It's you Helena. I need you. I found that what scared me most was that Harley took you from me. She shared your confessions and confidences. She provided guiding words. She was able to..." Barbara broke down her voice rough. She blew out causing the flakes to swirl as they fell near her exhaled breath.
"She was able to hurt you because I failed." She gritted her teeth feeling the words tearing through her. "I wanted to heal you Helena, be the one that could make things better. It seems I can't even manage that. I want to love you so much and share everything with you."
Hanging her head, she listened to the howling storm.
The winter symphony was broken by a stifled eek and a few choice words.
Words that had come from the redhead when she felt a hand on her shoulder along with hearing the word, "Barbara?"
She turned in her chair gripping the attacker's arm. Her other hand paused the upcoming swing as she registered the owner of the hand was..."Helena?"
"That's me," the brunette smiled warmly as she eyed the hand tightly gripping her wrist.
"How did you get behind me?" Barbara turned her chair some to better face the brunette.
"Um, I used the elevator and walked over to find you freezing your butt off and letting all this snow into the tower."
Two crimson eyebrows arched upward. "You used the elevator...so...it wasn't you." Disappointment and resignation colored her remark as her shoulders sagged and she released Helena's hand.
Free, Helena moved her hand to catch Barbara's cheek, pulling her face and eyes back to meet her own. "Actually, I've been standing behind you for a few minutes." Helena looked down then embarrassed at her admission.
"Um, someone took a message at the bar that said you needed me at the tower and to use the elevator." I came right over and heard you talking. I didn't know who would be up here since the Kid is gone and Alfred is seeing to family. I kinda..."
"Eavesdropped."
"Yeah that. I figured you wouldn't have called if..."
"I didn't call."
"But the message said you had called and needed me."
The two looked at each other trying to work over the conflicting information. A strong swirl of snow blowing over the women broke the silent reverie.
"Did you mean it?"
Barbara simply nodded at the question. She was startled to find her movement arrested somewhat as Helena had never released her cheek from earlier. Finding a shred of the earlier courage, she moved her hand to cover Helena's as she leaned her cheek against the warm palm.
"I need you too." The statement struck the redhead deeper than any other words she'd known.
Barbara reached up and pulled the younger woman to her. First laying her forehead against the brunette's, then in a dance as fluid as the flakes falling on the balcony, the two moved so their lips could meet.
After an eternity all too brief, Helena pulled back, "I think we need to talk."
Barbara's heart was beating too loudly for her to speak so she simply nodded again, her hand still holding onto Helena's.
"Yes, definitely some of the three C's"
"Three?" Barbara managed speech this time.
"Cocoa, confession and cuddling."
"I," she was taken back by the statement and yet the idea of being with Helena was so natural she could not remember ever having a thought contrary to that possibility.
"I like the way you think Helena Kyle."
"Good, because you're about to hear a lot more of what I am thinking. And you better get ready to do the same."
Laughing at the easy way the brunette was handling things; Barbara found the last traces of her heaviness and nervousness evaporate. She turned to wheel into the balcony but halted at Helena's next question.
"So who were you talking to?"
"I, I thought it was you." She dropped her gaze and blushed at her earlier assumption. As she did, her eyes fell on an object and she frowned.
"Well looks like we both thought we were talking to the other. Weird." Helena shrugged and then followed Barbara's gaze. She frowned too when she saw the item. Walking over through the collecting layer of white, she picked up the object, wiping the snow from it.
She found herself unable to speak as she recognized it immediately, as did Barbara. They both struggled with the memories and images the item brought. Barbara finally tore her eyes away from the whip and up to catch the brunette's dark eyes.
Helena just shook her head unwilling to voice any of the crazy thoughts she was experiencing.
Taking the item, Barbara placed it in the pocket of her chair and held up her hand. It was immediately grasped by Helena as they moved back into the clock tower.
Just as they shut the door, the wind picked up, twirling the snow dizzily around the balcony, bringing with it a rumbling whisper.
Merry Christmas my love
~ ~ ~