What Could Have Been
Sam Quinn
FANDOM: Bird of Prey comics
PAIRINGS: Drabble, femslash (Dinah/Batwoman, Babs/Dinah), Dick/Babs implied.
PAIRING: PG
DISCLAIMER: Current canon proves I don't own 'em.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Written for LiveJournal community - 100 women prompts 43, "Dreams" and 44, "Reality."
SPOILERS: Batwoman
SUMMARY: Oracle hears about the new Batwoman before anyone else.
ARCHIVING: pervyficgirl's LJ
E-MAIL: samanthaequinn@yahoo.com or feedback at pervyficgirl's LJ @ http://pervyficgirl.livejournal.com/.
Dreams
Barbara thinks she could cope better if Batwoman didn't have red hair.
It's an odd point of focus, perhaps even an obsessive one. Yet, each news report seems to focus either on rumors of Batwoman's sexuality or with the phrase "buxom redhead."
Part of Barbara wants to use the first part of the catch phrase against her unknowing opponent. If her chest size is all they can concentrate on, what does that say about her skills?
The reply and accompanying mental chastising is quick in coming - nothing at all. Batwoman is hardly the first superheroine to be objectified-even Powergirl, Supergirl, and Wonder Woman weren't immune -, and she won't be the last. Hell, Barbara remembers a few less than good natured slurs tossed in her direction back when she'd been Batgirl.
When she'd been the only redhead in a Bat costume.
And... yes, Barbara can be honest with herself. She can know that the red hair bothers her because it's such a glaring reminder that Batwoman represents everything that was taken away from her. The suit, the mobility...
In the spirit of being honest, Barbara supposes that's why Batwoman offends her the way Cassandra never did. Because while Batgirl was everything Barbara had once been, Batwoman is everything Barbara could have been. Cass was her past and one she's come to terms with, but Batwoman is a future she could have had- the one the Joker had denied her.
Even the name taunts her. Batwoman - better, older, wiser and more able than a mere Batgirl.
It's ridiculous and futile to ponder what might have been, and Barbara is more than a little upset at herself for not being as over the incident as she had believed.
Besides, she likes her life. It's a good one, and she does far more good as Oracle than she ever did as Batgirl.
Still, she can't help but think that the wind doesn't feel nearly as good whipping through her hair when she's rolling down the sidewalk as it did when she was jumping off a rooftop.
Reality
It appeared that the rumors of Kathy Kane's sexuality hadn't been the result of disgruntled, spurned male villains. Further, it appeared that the rigid heterosexuality that Barbara had assigned Dinah had been incorrect.
Barbara knew both of these things for a fact because her surveillance video - or her voyeur cam, as Helena liked to call it - proudly displayed the two women withering against one another on the bed Barbara had never quite allowed herself to fantasize about.
No, because Dinah... Dinah had been a forbidden and foreign want - one that Barbara had discounted as too dangerous, out of fear that she might get hurt.
Again.
Instead, Barbara had chosen to wrap herself in the safe familiarity of Dick, knowing very well that she was the same safe harbor for him.
Was it any wonder that "safe" relationship never worked out? Maybe neither one of them deserved happiness, after all.
But while Barbara had been wasting precious time working on her relationship with Dick, Dinah had sought affection elsewhere.
What was the cliche? "You never miss what you had til it's gone?"
The cruel truth of that phrase was evident, as both of Dinah's hands grasped at the wrong red head. Barbara gave one final look at both of the lives that were gone before shutting her surveillance camera off.
Barbara fought off the bitterness that threatened to surface when she realized that it wasn't enough that Kathy Kane was everything Barbara might have been. No, she had to lay claim on everything Barbara might have had as well.
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