Sam had her head down on the briefing room table, slowly rocking her forehead back and forth across her forearm. Vala leaned forward and put a reassuring hand on Sam's shoulder. "It's not so bad."

"Not so bad?" Sam said. She sat up and stared at Vala. "We destroyed a bar. We caused a public disturbance." She gestured at Landry's office and said, "The General is talking to a local cop and trying to explain why you don't have valid ID without using the 'A' word. We could have gone to prison because of what happened tonight, Vala, and you're saying it's no big deal?"

Vala shrugged. "Compared to some of the prisons I've been to. I think your world has a leg up on them."

"Oh, God," Sam groaned.

The door to Landry's office opened and he walked to his chair, deceptively calm. He took a seat, linked his hands together in front of him and said, "Officer Foreman revealed that the bartender chose not to press charges against the two of you. I managed to convince Officer Foreman not to look too closely at the 'Valerie Doren' ID. I think it helped that Detective Ryan put in a good word for you."

"He did?" Sam said.

Landry nodded. "I think he told them that getting involved with us was more trouble than it was worth."

Sam ducked her head to hide her smirk. This was no time to be laughing.

"Okay," Landry said. "Colonel, why don't you start at the beginning?"

Sam sighed. "Okay. All the trouble started when..."

~*~

The Stargate opened and Vala stepped through with two members of SG-12. She draped a leather jacket over her shoulder and struck a pose as she examined the Gate Room. "Well. Don't you all have me surrounded?"

~*~

Landry coughed. "Colonel... it's late. Why don't you fast forward to this evening?"

Vala stuck her tongue out at Sam.

Sam, being an Air Force Colonel, wouldn't stoop to those levels. Vala howled as Sam kicked her in the shin.

"I was working in my lab," Sam said. "I was trying to determine how to hook up a naquadah reactor to the device SG-7 brought back from P44-821. Vala came in and, as usual, claimed to be bored."

~*~

"Daniel claims to still be recovering from being a Prior," Vala said, following Sam around the table. "Teal'c and Cameron are training, and I'm still wearing the bruises from the last time I joined them. So come on! I'm bored!"

"You're always bored," Sam said.

Vala picked up one of Sam's notebooks and scanned the writing. Sam took the notebook gently away and laid it down. Vala stomped her foot. "Come on! You've been the only girl on the team for ten years! Haven't you ever wanted a girlfriend to spend time with?"

"I've had girlfriends. Janet, for one."

"Really?" Vala said.

Sam glared at her. "We were just friends," Sam insisted. "God, keep your mind out of the gutter..."

Vala sighed. "Please, Sam. General Landry is such a fuddy-duddy when it comes to letting me off-base by myself."

~*~

"I did not," Vala gasped.

Sam raised an eyebrow.

Vala looked at Landry out of the corner of her eye, closed her mouth and tried for a smile. "Well, you know what they say, General. You always... insult the ones you love."

"It's hurt," Sam corrected.

Vala sneered at her.

"Colonel," Landry pleaded. "Don't worry about my feelings, please. Let's get this story finished with before the day shift arrives. Please?"

Sam sighed. "Vala finally convinced me to take her off-base. I didn't want to make a night of it," she scoffed and surreptitiously checked her watch, "so I settled on O'Malley's."

"I'm still surprised a member of SG-1 was able to get reservations there."

"They buried the hatchet when General O'Neill got his promotion," Sam said. "We've been on good terms with them since. Until tonight, of course."

~*~

They were seated at a table in the back, in full view of the pool tables. Sam tried to ignore their siren song and took a seat next to Vala instead of across from her. Out of sight, out of mind. Vala raised an eyebrow at Sam's choice, but didn't say anything. The waitress approached and managed to get to, "Hi, what can I..." before she recognized Sam. "Oh," she said, smile fading. "Hello."

Sam smiled sheepishly. "Good memory."

"You don't tend to forget nights like that," the woman said.

"What?" Vala said. She looked between Sam and the waitress. "What, what happened?"

"I'll tell you later. Let's just order."

"Let me guess," the waitress said. "Three steaks?"

Vala's eyes widened.

"Ah, just two this time," Sam blushed. "One each. Medium well, rib-eye, with baked potatoes and all the fixings."

"And to drink?"

"Diet Cokes."

Vala said, "Actually, I'd like to try some of your finer alcoholic..."

"No," Sam said. "She wouldn't. Diet Cokes." The waitress walked off and Sam explained, "They ask for ID here no matter how old you look. And I'd rather not test the Valerie Doren ID under these circumstances."

"We have to test it sometime!"

Sam declined to comment. She, Daniel and Cameron had entered into a conspiracy to keep Vala's ID and credit cards as untested as possible. So long as she didn't know they would work, she would be less likely to use them unless it was an emergency. The waitress brought their Diet Cokes and immediately retreated again.

Vala took a sip of hers. "Mm. You know, there are some worlds whose drinks would be vastly improved by adding carbonation and caffeine. If we sold the--"

"No," Sam said.

"But it's..."

"No." Sam looked at her and Vala hushed.

~*~

Sam said, "The steaks arrived, we ate and everything was fine. Until Vala decided we should try the pool tables."

"You should have warned me of your history."

"I did!" Sam snapped. "You practically dragged me down there." She glanced at Landry and cleared her throat. "Sir. Once Vala heard about the trick shot, she insisted I show her how it was done."

"I was just surprised to hear that you were a hustler!"

"I'm not a hustler!" Sam said.

"Colonel," Landry sighed.

Sam nodded. "Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. Vala insisted I show her how to do the pool trick..."

~*~

Sam reluctantly pressed herself against Vala's back and fitted her hand against the cue. "Mm," Vala said, squirming against Sam's hips. "Maybe I should've had Daniel teach me this move."

"Daniel can't do it," Sam said. "Now stop that. Okay, concentrate."

From behind them, a male voice said, "Well, well. Look who is finally back for a rematch." Sam groaned and turned to face the college guy she'd humiliated six years ago. "And she brought her girlfriend."

"Haven't you graduated yet?" Sam said with an exasperated sigh.

He smirked. "What's the matter, dyke? Are you getting a little old to pull off those fancy-ass tricks? Got a little arthritis? Grandma?"

"Grandma?" Vala said.

"He's talking to me," Sam said.

"Yeah, but he thinks I'm your girlfriend. What does that say about me? That's I'm a Granny-chaser? Hardly." She flipped her hair, planted her hands on her hips and glared at the man.

The kid scoffed and turned his attention to Sam. "Whaddaya say? You want a rematch? Or are you scared I'll show you up, steal your woman away from you?"

Sam put down the cue and said, "Come on, Vala, let's get out of here."

"Sam..."

"Let's go."

Vala grumbled, but let Sam lead her around the table. The guy scoffed and said, "Okay, dyke. See you in another six years."

She didn't know why the word had made her snap the second time. But something about the way he said it made Sam decide that it was the last time she'd let him get away with it. If a beat-down with an Atanik-bracelet enhanced Air Force Colonel hadn't stopped him six years ago, maybe being cut down to size by a woman would do the trick. She grabbed the cue she had just set down and swung it as Teal'c had shown her. "Should your staff weapon become disabled, it can also be used as a projectile."

She let the wood slip off her fingers and it went into a wide spin. It flew at the kid, who was too shocked to move, and cracked him across the nose. "Shit!" he howled. He brought a hand to his face to check for blood. Unfortunately, it was the hand still holding his beer bottle. He cracked himself in the face and cursed again. "Get them!" he yelled at his friends.

"Quiet nights out," Sam muttered. "Now you see why I prefer my lab."

"No," Vala said with a wide smile. "I really, really don't." She picked up a chair and hurled it at the first assailant. Sam ducked a swing and rammed her head into her attacker's stomach. Vala side-stepped a thrown beer bottle and--

~*~

"I think I get the gist," Landry interrupted. "I don't need a blow-by-blow account." He sighed and said, "As you said, and as the bartender confirmed, you were provoked. Still, the fight was preventable."

"Yes, sir," Sam said.

He sighed. "I don't like the idea of my people getting into barroom brawls. But I also don't like the idea of people trying to make fools of them." He pushed himself up and Sam stood to attention. He said, "We'll call this one a draw, just because it's too damn late for me to think of a punishment. I trust this was a one-time thing, Colonel Carter?"

"Two times," Vala corrected. Sam glared at her and Vala shrugged. "Well... it was twice. Six years ago and... and now. Right? I'm just trying to be accurate." She smiled.

"Never again, sir. You have my word."

"That's good enough for me. Ladies." He turned and headed for the briefing room door. He stopped and said, "Try not to kill one another before morning?"

Sam smiled. "No promises, Sir."

He chuckled and left the room.

"Good night!" Vala said.

Sam walked to the stairs and Vala trotted along behind her. They walked in silence through the control room, to the elevator. Sam slid her card through the scanner, watched the numbers without looking at Vala, and they stepped into the car. As the doors slid closed, Vala looked askance at Sam. Sam turned her head and looked at Vala full-on. She scanned the other woman's face and then broke into a smile. "Do you think he bought it?"

"Hell," Vala said. "I bought it. I thought you were really pissed at me."

"Poor baby," Sam said as she grabbed Vala and pressed her against the wall. Vala squealed as Sam's lips closed over her own. Her body tensed and then went limp, melting into the kiss. Sam's tongue was desperate, her hands digging into Vala's hair to pull her closer.

~*~

"Let's go out tonight?" Vala said, her head propped on Sam's naked shoulder.

"Out?" Sam said, breathing hard, wiping the sweat from her brow. "Why can't we just lay here and try to breathe?"

Vala poked Sam in the side. "I'm hungry. And I'm sick of the commissary food." She hopped up and scurried naked across the room. Sam propped up on her elbows and watched the exhibition. "If anyone asks, you can say I dragged you out of your lab by your hair."

Sam smiled.

~*~

Sam's hands left Vala's hair and wrapped around her waist. She planted her hand in the small of Vala's back and pulled her close, Vala pushing off the floor to wrap her legs around Sam's waist. Sam bent her knees and took Vala's weight effortlessly, letting Vala's wandering hands muss her hair as the kiss deepened.

They had sat next to each other in the restaurant as they said, but not so Sam wouldn't have to see the pool table. Sam filled Vala in about the incident six years ago and they had their run-in with the waitress, as Landry had heard. What he didn't hear was that Sam's hand had been locked inside Vala's the entire time they were in the restaurant.

Sam pushed up Vala's shirt and rubbed her fingers along the warm, sweaty flesh of Vala's back. Vala panted into Sam's mouth and Sam slipped her fingertips into the waistband of Vala's trousers. "You didn't wear underwear?" Sam gasped, pulling back from the kiss.

Vala smiled wickedly and licked Sam's bottom lip.

"You tease," Sam growled.

"Who is teasing?"

Sam hadn't told Landry that she had caressed Vala's ass in the restaurant, while she'd been demonstrating the pool shot. She hadn't told him that the chucklehead had ample reason to consider her gay. Vala had been squirming against her, yes.

But Sam had been squirming back.

And she was squirming now. She released Vala and let her down to the floor. They kissed again, Vala smoothed down the back of Sam's hair and smiled. "It's the shortest long ride I've ever been on," she said in a low voice.

Sam laughed and straightened Vala's clothes just as the elevators opened. She stepped out first and casually turned to Vala as the passed the guarded checkpoint. "You want to bunk down at my place tonight? Spare bedroom has got to be cozier than a tiny room deep inside a mountain."

"Sure," Vala said. "The sheets in your guest room are always so Uppy soft."

"Downy," Sam corrected.

"Right," Vala said.

Sam swept her card again and, when the elevator doors opened, stepped inside. Vala clasped her hands behind her back and looked at the red numbers next to the door. "Fourteen levels to the surface," she said casually.

As the doors closed, Sam turned and pounced on Vala again.

A lot of things could happen in fourteen floors.

end